T-Shirt Island

“Tim, please wait a minute! I wouldn’t say this to you, but now I can’t help it. You borrowed my umbrella two  days ago, and haven’t returned it yet.” “Oh, Jenny, I had no choice because it has been raining since then, you know.”

God comes and says “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter.”

     Said and done, and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, and the line of men that dominated women, there was only one man.

　　God said. “You men should be ashamed of yourselves.I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one on that line?”

　　The man said, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

Collective travels

A man says: “All is willing go to celestial go stand up! ” besides a gentleman, everybody stood. “Are you willing celestial go? “The man asks. “Be willing of course, but I do not like collective trip. But I do not like collective trip..

My uncle has 800 men under him.

– He is really somebody. What does he do?

– A maintenance man in a cemetery.

          When   I   was  waitting   in  line   at   a  bank ,  I  noticed  a woman  holding  a   small child  at  one    of  the  windows. The    girl   was   eating   a    roll  ,which  she   thrust   at  the   teller.  The  teller   smiled  and   shook   her   head.

         “No,      no,      dear,”      said      the      boy’s mom.      and      then ,      turnning to      the      teller ,      “I      beg      your      pardon ,      young      man.      Please forgive      my    daughter .     She’s       just       been       to      the      zoo.”

Little Tom  comes from school on the first of September.
“Tom, how did you like your new teacher?” asked his mother.
“I didn’t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too…..”

A couple were talking  about  their life at home.

She  said: ”Because people are not pity at you, I just be your wife.”

He answered :” Finally you  succeeded. Now everyone feel sorry to me.”

One day ,a  six year-old child by the name of Little Tom ran hastily to the police station and told a policeman, “Please come
quickly!Two men are fighting at my home,and one is dying !  One of  is my father.” The policemen therefore rushed to the scene with
the child. They indeed saw two men fighting with one another. The policeman said, “Which one is your father?”
The child answered, “I also do not know who is my father;that’s why they are fighting.”