T-Shirt Island

JOKE 1At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home…

He asks him: what are you doing?

The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!

Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you.

JOKE 2A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!

The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?

The wife: Very good, thank you.

The husband: And, what happened to my present?

The wife: Which present?

The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?

The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl!!!

Joke1:

At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home… He asks him:” what are you doing?”
The son replied: “Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!!!
Father said: Wait!!!!!!!! I am coming with you
JOKE 2

A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn ‘t like it and moves on,
 but the husband keeps looking. The wife asks, “What are you waiting for? ” The husband replies, “autumn. “

These laws were given to me by an old friend who carried has them around in his golf bag for, judging by the age of the paper (and his golf bag), decades. True golfers should understand the words layed out here. LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summmer and, eventually, a lifetime. LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former. LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down. LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant You looked up, or invoke the wrath of the universe. LAW 6: The higher a golfer’s handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instuctor. LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire. LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man. LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls. LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn’t, how do you explain the way it works against you? LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse. LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent — or some similar combination. LAW 13: All 3-woods are domon-possessed. LAW 14: Golf balls from the same sleeve tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see Law three) LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty. LAW 16: Nice lag can usually be translated to lousy putt. Similarly, tough break can usually be translated way to miss an easy one, sucker. LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you. LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be. LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month. LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset of the same day.

One day when women’s dresses were on sale at the Far East Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

“You there!” challenged a thrill voice. “Can’t you act like a gentleman?”

“Listen,” he said, “I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady.”